Beyond the Game (Hockey and Life)

So it's been a while since the 2010-11 Stanley Cup Final between the Boston Bruins and the Vancouver Canucks but yesterday I was reminded what an impact that had on hockey fans and people around the world....and perhaps in a very different way than you might expect...

I arrived at the local rink early yesterday to cut some sticks for a training ladder and prepare for running that nights practice when one of the kids in our youth organization found me.  He had arrived early and sounded nervous but eager to talk with me because "people your age don't usually hang out with kids like me."  It was flattering and we were very early so I thought it would be fun to play some bubble hockey with him.  He was excited and was also better at bubble hockey than I would have imagined.  Sure, I'm 26 and in my prime but he's a well tuned kid with some good hours of bubble hockey experience and it showed in his 3-1 thrashing he handed to me.  After finishing the game we sat down and talked some school and hockey.  I found out that Detroit was one of his favorite teams and that Vancouver used to be one of his favorites until this year.  When asked why he replied "I liked them until the riots after the final."

Now this may not have struck such a chord if it wasn't for the fact that it reminded me of a similar incident that happened while I was in Canada this Summer at the Andrews Hockey Growth Programs in PEI.  Wally Kozak, a great coach and motivator, was giving a talk to the kids at the Andrews Hockey Showcase and asked them what they remembered the most about the Stanley Cup Finals this year.  The kids in this group were about 8-11 and the first kid raised his hand and said "the riots."  The second kid said "some of the goals" and then another kid piped in and said "yea, the riots were awful."  To both Wally and my surprise this younger group keyed right into the major social problem that stemmed from the Stanley Cup more than anything else. 

With subsequent groups that all became older and older, when asked the same question, they focused on more of the hockey and less on the riots.  It was an interesting observation and one that Wally used to be able to spread some light on the things that matter most.  The values and life lessons.  In discussing these things further I found myself becoming more inspired to focus on the deeper lessons in sports.  I'm even attending a life coach certification in January to become even more well rounded and aware of the ways to help people develop their potentials and see the connections between sport and life.

The Vancouver Riots are a great talking point and opportunity to teach a lesson that can help people realize that deep connection between our character on and off the rink.  A way to learn how to not just do what others are doing because other people are doing it.  A way to learn that we have the choice to do what is right and not be a part of a "riot."  

Let's go back to my little hockey friend at the rink yesterday.  I feel very lucky and thankful to have had that opportunity to teach.  Earlier, he had been telling me how his teacher threatened to send him to the principle that day because he was feeling hyper and decided to sing songs during class like yankee doodle dandy.  After he had made the riot comment I used this as an opportunity to tease out some of the ideas of how people can act.  I asked him how he thought the riot started?  He wasn't sure, but it was "probably because some people were mad."  I agreed and told him about the snowball effect and how things can become quite out of control if someone doesn't say anything and let's some out of control behavior go.  I asked him what would happen if the teacher let you sing during their lesson and then other people started to sing and then everyone was singing and doing whatever they wanted.  We agreed it would probably get pretty crazy and out of control.  Finally, we talked about how we can be a leader and that we have a choice to do what feel and think is right or to do what other people are doing.

A great chance to allow a child to follow his heart and make good decisions....I love my job.  

How Do I Find Flow and Stay Present?

Ah Men's league hockey. A place to get some exercise, play a sport I love, and have some camaraderie with the guys. It's a place where I personally enjoy learning more about the game and now that I've gotten to a point where the challenge is reasonably low for me I've started to find new ways to develop myself. Learning to stay more in the present has been an underlying focus for myself in recent times and this past week has presented two interesting challenges:

1. Allowing myself to stay mentally present despite a physical pain.
2. Paying attention to my arousal level in order to find Flow

While these two challenges may appear much different on initial appearance they both deal with the staying present and performing despite adversity.

The story starts when I hit the gym for the first time in a number of years and weight lifted in order to get stronger. It was a Tuesday it was a leg day. My gym partner, Josh, taught me a great lesson about squating that made me realize the great importance of a good physical trainer*. Immediately after the workout they felt strong, limber, ready to go. However, as night came I knew I would be in some trouble.

The next day was a running day for Josh and I was very very sore. Deciding to go on the run demolished what little left I had of my legs and the rest of the day and following days made me realize that it would be nice to have a handle on the wall to help me sit down on the toilet. Felt like an old man. My legs were toast (aka. annihilated, dead, hurtin').

Hockey still had to be played though and that night it was with a group that allowed me to be a step slower as play was more laid back. The lack of knee bend slowed me down. It slowed me to the point that one of the guys who was in his high 70's (and yes 70's and still plays better than most) gave me a run for my money. No wheels. With my speed stymied I had to rely on my hands. The times that I tried to get lower for speed I found my legs giving out. It had been a while since I lacked my range of motion and at that time I further understood the importance of staying fit. Mentally, I was struggling. My mind was screaming at me to just hit cruise control on a snails pace and I fought to not let the inner negative voice take over. I changed out thoughts of doubts into positive thoughts of encouragement. It was not an easy task and I felt good for being able to quiet my mind and not get too wrapped up in a pain fixation.

By Friday my legs had still not recovered. They could hold weight though, which was a great step in the right direction. However, I found that Friday posed a whole new set of challenges. My physical body was uncoordinated, it lacked the fine motor coordination to move where I wanted when I wanted. It was another fight, this time me against my body control, or lack thereof. The night was spent trying to regain coordination but it resulted in losing the proper focuses needed to play hockey. I found myself making poor decisions as my awareness of those around me on the ice deteriorated. Thankfully I'm finding a whole new set of things to work on. The whole night was a struggle and in the end my progress to stay in the present felt minimal as my body would not cooperate out of fatigue.

Sunday night comes. It's my personal men's league game and my legs have recovered. Arriving at the rink early I found another team missing some players so I hop on for the game before mine. They had 1 sub and I knew that I would be staying on the ice for the full 60 minutes but said "why not?" The drop of the first puck was won right back to me where I tried to make a pass up to my wing; intercepted. I backed up using some crossovers and gave away where my momentum was going and they broke right in to have a nice shot opportunity. Later that shift a pass came from my defensive partner and I fumbled it, collected it, and tried to make a futile move on a rushing forward. Really frustrated with myself I asked "what the **** is going on." My mind wasn't in it, my body wasn't in it, what can I do?

That's when I remember a conversation I had with my friend, another Josh, who is attending school for sports psychology at Ithica, about staying present and getting myself to be in "Flow" (aka. in the zone). We discussed the power of being present during play and ways of managing arousal levels. At this point I had the realization that it was boredom that was occuring and that I was at the low end of the arousal spectrum. In order to snap myself out of it I gave myself some specific task goals. I said, "hey Steve, I'm going to score one right now" and not 30 seconds later I read the play well and intercepted the pass through the middle, picked my spot and ripped it home. Skating back to the center ice for the drop of the puck Steve looks at me and says with a smile "guess that's the power of intention, right?" I just laughed knowing how true his statement was.

From that point on I played with intention. Playing with the right focuses let me stay in the moment and play at a high level. After winning my own game 3-2 with the second and third goals coming from a great desire to score, the goalie from the other team said that I looked very focused and that he could tell I was in the zone.

Being able to find the best spot between boredom and anxiety is what allowed me to get into flow and something that I will need to continue to be aware of as I play and grow.

Ways I was able to be in "Flow" and stay present:

1. Recognition of what state I was in. (Bored, In Flow or Anxious)

2. Assessing which techniques to use. Such as Self-Instructional Talk(task focusing), Cognitive Restructuring(negative thoughts out, positive thoughts in) or Relaxation Training(didn't need to use this week but would be for calming down when too pressured. See post script)

3. Using these techniques to keep in Flow and Present.

Hope this blog post gives you some ideas and if you have any questions post them in the comments section and Go Bruins!

P.S. - Watching the Bruins at the start of Game 2 against Philadephia this year(2011) I noticed that the annoucers made the great comment about the Bruins needing to "slow things down and start making their passes." The flyers came out....flying....and the speed and pressure made Boston cough up the puck and make poor decisions and plays. By trying to relax and slow things down they were able to start making their passes again and found their stride to gain the win. Atta boys.

*Getting my weight more on my heels while doing squats and leg presses forces the proper muscles in my legs to work. I had been using my quads and adding to a more imbalanced strength system in my body by being so much on my toes. Probably a contributing factor to a sciatic nerve problem that I developed and has since passed.

Why is it good to have lofty goals? Our search for meaning.

A great video clip of a Viktor Frankl discussing how we need to shoot high in order to reach our goals. I'll be reading his book 'Man's Search For Meaning' very soon.

What leads to kids future success?

During typical conversations, I'm that guy who likes to bring up the psychology studies I read about in school. One of these studies came up the other week when discussing predictors of "success" with someone. Now, what success is...that's a whole other topic...but, for now let's use some general generic concepts of what success is (such as higher intelligence, better relationships, happiness, etc.). "The Marshmallow Experiment" by Walter Mishel at Stanford was a study testing to see if there were any correlations between kids who could wait for a greater reward and tests of success when they became older.

This compelling experiment had four year old kids sit in a room with one marshmallow and they were told that if they waited for the teacher/administrator to return then they would get TWO marshmallows. Pretty sweet deal, huh? Well, despite the prospect of having two marshmallows, it was found that only approx. one out of three would not eat the marshmallow, while two out of three wouldn't wait and gobble it right up.

The most interesting stuff became apparent when these kids were re-examined 14 years later. The kids who didn't eat the marshmallow were found as being happier, had higher grades and SAT test scores, had better co-operative relationships, and were more confident on the whole. On the other hand, the children who didn't wait to eat the marshmallow were found to be more moody, indecisive, and envious.

Some psychologists believe that it was the ability to delay gratification that was the most important factor. Dr. Philip Zimbardo went on to describe the difference between 'present' and 'future' oriented people and has repeated this study with similar findings. With people who are more in the 'present' being people who are more interested in the present moment while 'future' oriented people tend to be more "successful." He's even written books on how you can learn the principles of becoming more future oriented; irregardless of being a child or adult.

Other psychologists think that it's the ability to have self-control and self-discipline that's the main factor in the results. Psychologist Joachim de Posada also replicated this experiment in Columbia and the following video is his explanation of the findings. **Warning** If you have a soft spot for cute and funny things then you will enjoy the reactions of the kids in the following two videos.



Here is another video showing some more kids taking the test.



If you want to have fun with your 4 year old, try this one out, put a marshmallow in front of them, tell them the scenario, and then leave for 15 minutes. Make sure to have a video camera getting the reaction. (If they eat the marshmallow, don't fret, they aren't doomed to failure, they may just need to be taught a few key things about self-control and discipline.)

So this post is some food for thought about what can lead to certain indicators of success for your children later on in life.

What are your thoughts on this study and it's findings?? Please leave comments below.

The Benefits of Pond Hockey

So I got to lace my skates up with frozen hands last week as I had my first pond hockey game of the year. My hands rang with the familiar pain of trying to get my laces tight enough, as I watched the seven kids, ranging from High School down to squirts, who were out on the pond with me ready to play pond hockey. Stepping onto the ice I took a few strides and my foot found a hole where someone had drilled down through with an ice auger. A divot about two inches deep and 10 inches wide made me realize quickly, "oh man, I'm not in a rink anymore I better be aware of what I'm stepping on." Pieces of the surrounding cat tails blew across the ice every so often, patches of ice that had a thin layer that you could break through were spread out around the pond, cracks in the ice made the field of play feel like a hazard zone compared to the nice smoothed out ice I had started to get used to teaching at the local rink. Not having anything on for equipment except my gloves and helmet was a reminder to myself that I need to stay balanced and be aware of what I'm doing. Despite these treacheries I had an absolute blast.

There was no blowing of a whistle to start the game, only a throwing of the sticks from one side or the other to break up teams. Not having the game count for anything I was able to be more creative with the puck and with how I defended. I used my feet to purposefully block passes, pretending that I wasn't paying attention to where the next pass was going only to snap my stick in the passing lane at the last second, I worked on how to be deceptive with my stick-handling and I was able to try these techniques with no major consequence if they didn't work. Freedom is the closest word I could use to describe that feeling.

Beyond the feelings of freedom that I was having, the feeling of relaxation began to sink in. Being able to be on-ice and not have a guy breathing down my neck trying to do everything in his nature to take the puck away gave me a greater control with the puck. I could pull moves off consistently that in a pressured state would have made me lose my control. Having learned sport psychology I'm now realizing first hand what it's like to be able to feel my ideal performance level "my zone". There was very little to no anxiety, I was able to really relax with the puck and Man, does that feel great.

As we continued to play, the sun started to go down and slowly the colors of sky transformed against the backdrop of the trees. I couldn't help but take out my phone and try to play with one hand as I took some snapshots of the scene. As I was posting them on facebook I proceeded to score a goal one-handed and couldn't help but smile and laugh.

Here's the pic I snapped on the pond.

Shouts of my teammates yelling for passes and learning how to get open as I was doing my dangles were of regular occurrence. Getting their head up looking for passes to me and each other was a must. Sometimes a little excessively I was hearing my name called....ahem..but I'd rather hear someone yelling for a pass so I know where they are than someone staying quiet and as the game went on they calls for passes were at better times.

After about an hour and a half, some of the parents were coming back to check in to make sure we weren't freezing. Funny thing was that most of us were plenty warm if not sweating. No doubt, we burned some calories in the process and I'd personally rather be on a pond then on a treadmill any day.

To recap, here are some of the things I think are benefits of pond hockey:

-Tough Ice conditions make sure that you need good balance and awareness of the ice.

-Without equipment you need to play a different, much more skill oriented game.

-Without excessive pressure, relaxation and creativity can arise.

-You can learn things about the game you might not have realized otherwise.

-No expectations

-The beautiful surroundings

-A place for good teamwork and communication building.

-Can make new friends and deepen your current relationships.

-Can be a good workout.

-It can be straight up fun.


Over the last year I've fallen back in love with the game of hockey. My passion has grown again and I find myself watching the top players looking for nuances in their balance and positioning. Teaching stick-handling has forced me to study the art of puck handling much more in-depth then when I was a kid playing. Figuring out the small nuances, making the connections and learning how to feel the puck again has been exciting. My stick-handling is better than it's ever been and I feel more in control than I have ever felt before. If you're interested in finding more control with the puck join me on Wednesdays at Maine Sport, 5pm for Mites and Squirts or 530 for Peewee through Adults. From 3-5PM there will be Pond Hockey on the Maine Sport pond if the conditions allow and it's a great place to practice new moves. You can also join our Facebook group, just type in "Midcoast Pond Hockey" and ask to join. You'll get updates on times and places other people are playing.


On a final note, we're going to have a movie night that plays an ode to Pond Hockey. Below is a trailer for the movie "Pond Hockey" and we'll be having a showing of this movie on Wednesday January 19th at 6:30PM at the MRC. Hope you can attend and I hope you fall in love with Pond Hockey too as much as I have.


“Up to a certain age, kids should be let out
to play pond hockey. Skate and be creative
with the puck.” - Wayne Gretzky




Tell me some of your favorite pond hockey memories or any comments you have about pond hockey in the comments section!!!

Barry Schwartz: Using our practical wisdom

Most everyday during my lunch break I watch a Ted Talk video. Being able to hear great inspiration on a daily basis fills me up and inspires me into greater action. The videos that really inspire me I'll start to post and would love to have discussions with you about them.


The video I posted today really inspires me to get even more involved in my local hockey community. Every day I see the support of people who want the best for their kids. As relationships build with the parents and kids, I'm starting to see where a structure of practical wisdom could be used and helpful. I watch the younger kids look up to the older kids with stars in their eyes and excitement of future potential. Being able to incorporate the idea of mentoring and building of relationships is something I want to incorporate as we grow as a hockey community. Building a system where the older students are being able to mentor the younger students could be a great thing and something worth thinking and developing further.


To explore one of Barry Schwartz points more in depth, I want to look at one of his points he makes at the end.

"What makes people happy? (according to the latest psychological studies).....Love and Work.

Love - managing, successfully, the relations with the people that are close to you and the communities of which you are a part.

and

Work - engaging in activities that are meaningful and satisfying (fulfilling)" -Barry Schwartz


What are your thoughts on this statement? Does this ring true for you? Feel free to share some of your ideas and thoughts from this video and how it relates to your life I'd love to hear them.