Ah Men's league hockey. A place to get some exercise, play a sport I love, and have some camaraderie with the guys. It's a place where I personally enjoy learning more about the game and now that I've gotten to a point where the challenge is reasonably low for me I've started to find new ways to develop myself. Learning to stay more in the present has been an underlying focus for myself in recent times and this past week has presented two interesting challenges:
1. Allowing myself to stay mentally present despite a physical pain.
2. Paying attention to my arousal level in order to find Flow
While these two challenges may appear much different on initial appearance they both deal with the staying present and performing despite adversity.
The story starts when I hit the gym for the first time in a number of years and weight lifted in order to get stronger. It was a Tuesday it was a leg day. My gym partner, Josh, taught me a great lesson about squating that made me realize the great importance of a good physical trainer*. Immediately after the workout they felt strong, limber, ready to go. However, as night came I knew I would be in some trouble.
The next day was a running day for Josh and I was very very sore. Deciding to go on the run demolished what little left I had of my legs and the rest of the day and following days made me realize that it would be nice to have a handle on the wall to help me sit down on the toilet. Felt like an old man. My legs were toast (aka. annihilated, dead, hurtin').
Hockey still had to be played though and that night it was with a group that allowed me to be a step slower as play was more laid back. The lack of knee bend slowed me down. It slowed me to the point that one of the guys who was in his high 70's (and yes 70's and still plays better than most) gave me a run for my money. No wheels. With my speed stymied I had to rely on my hands. The times that I tried to get lower for speed I found my legs giving out. It had been a while since I lacked my range of motion and at that time I further understood the importance of staying fit. Mentally, I was struggling. My mind was screaming at me to just hit cruise control on a snails pace and I fought to not let the inner negative voice take over. I changed out thoughts of doubts into positive thoughts of encouragement. It was not an easy task and I felt good for being able to quiet my mind and not get too wrapped up in a pain fixation.
By Friday my legs had still not recovered. They could hold weight though, which was a great step in the right direction. However, I found that Friday posed a whole new set of challenges. My physical body was uncoordinated, it lacked the fine motor coordination to move where I wanted when I wanted. It was another fight, this time me against my body control, or lack thereof. The night was spent trying to regain coordination but it resulted in losing the proper focuses needed to play hockey. I found myself making poor decisions as my awareness of those around me on the ice deteriorated. Thankfully I'm finding a whole new set of things to work on. The whole night was a struggle and in the end my progress to stay in the present felt minimal as my body would not cooperate out of fatigue.
Sunday night comes. It's my personal men's league game and my legs have recovered. Arriving at the rink early I found another team missing some players so I hop on for the game before mine. They had 1 sub and I knew that I would be staying on the ice for the full 60 minutes but said "why not?" The drop of the first puck was won right back to me where I tried to make a pass up to my wing; intercepted. I backed up using some crossovers and gave away where my momentum was going and they broke right in to have a nice shot opportunity. Later that shift a pass came from my defensive partner and I fumbled it, collected it, and tried to make a futile move on a rushing forward. Really frustrated with myself I asked "what the **** is going on." My mind wasn't in it, my body wasn't in it, what can I do?
That's when I remember a conversation I had with my friend, another Josh, who is attending school for sports psychology at Ithica, about staying present and getting myself to be in "Flow" (aka. in the zone). We discussed the power of being present during play and ways of managing arousal levels. At this point I had the realization that it was boredom that was occuring and that I was at the low end of the arousal spectrum. In order to snap myself out of it I gave myself some specific task goals. I said, "hey Steve, I'm going to score one right now" and not 30 seconds later I read the play well and intercepted the pass through the middle, picked my spot and ripped it home. Skating back to the center ice for the drop of the puck Steve looks at me and says with a smile "guess that's the power of intention, right?" I just laughed knowing how true his statement was.
From that point on I played with intention. Playing with the right focuses let me stay in the moment and play at a high level. After winning my own game 3-2 with the second and third goals coming from a great desire to score, the goalie from the other team said that I looked very focused and that he could tell I was in the zone.
Being able to find the best spot between boredom and anxiety is what allowed me to get into flow and something that I will need to continue to be aware of as I play and grow.
Ways I was able to be in "Flow" and stay present:
1. Recognition of what state I was in. (Bored, In Flow or Anxious)
2. Assessing which techniques to use. Such as Self-Instructional Talk(task focusing), Cognitive Restructuring(negative thoughts out, positive thoughts in) or Relaxation Training(didn't need to use this week but would be for calming down when too pressured. See post script)
3. Using these techniques to keep in Flow and Present.
Hope this blog post gives you some ideas and if you have any questions post them in the comments section and Go Bruins!
P.S. - Watching the Bruins at the start of Game 2 against Philadephia this year(2011) I noticed that the annoucers made the great comment about the Bruins needing to "slow things down and start making their passes." The flyers came out....flying....and the speed and pressure made Boston cough up the puck and make poor decisions and plays. By trying to relax and slow things down they were able to start making their passes again and found their stride to gain the win. Atta boys.
*Getting my weight more on my heels while doing squats and leg presses forces the proper muscles in my legs to work. I had been using my quads and adding to a more imbalanced strength system in my body by being so much on my toes. Probably a contributing factor to a sciatic nerve problem that I developed and has since passed.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Why is it good to have lofty goals? Our search for meaning.
A great video clip of a Viktor Frankl discussing how we need to shoot high in order to reach our goals. I'll be reading his book 'Man's Search For Meaning' very soon.
Friday, January 28, 2011
What leads to kids future success?
During typical conversations, I'm that guy who likes to bring up the psychology studies I read about in school. One of these studies came up the other week when discussing predictors of "success" with someone. Now, what success is...that's a whole other topic...but, for now let's use some general generic concepts of what success is (such as higher intelligence, better relationships, happiness, etc.). "The Marshmallow Experiment" by Walter Mishel at Stanford was a study testing to see if there were any correlations between kids who could wait for a greater reward and tests of success when they became older.
This compelling experiment had four year old kids sit in a room with one marshmallow and they were told that if they waited for the teacher/administrator to return then they would get TWO marshmallows. Pretty sweet deal, huh? Well, despite the prospect of having two marshmallows, it was found that only approx. one out of three would not eat the marshmallow, while two out of three wouldn't wait and gobble it right up.
The most interesting stuff became apparent when these kids were re-examined 14 years later. The kids who didn't eat the marshmallow were found as being happier, had higher grades and SAT test scores, had better co-operative relationships, and were more confident on the whole. On the other hand, the children who didn't wait to eat the marshmallow were found to be more moody, indecisive, and envious.
Some psychologists believe that it was the ability to delay gratification that was the most important factor. Dr. Philip Zimbardo went on to describe the difference between 'present' and 'future' oriented people and has repeated this study with similar findings. With people who are more in the 'present' being people who are more interested in the present moment while 'future' oriented people tend to be more "successful." He's even written books on how you can learn the principles of becoming more future oriented; irregardless of being a child or adult.
Other psychologists think that it's the ability to have self-control and self-discipline that's the main factor in the results. Psychologist Joachim de Posada also replicated this experiment in Columbia and the following video is his explanation of the findings. **Warning** If you have a soft spot for cute and funny things then you will enjoy the reactions of the kids in the following two videos.
Here is another video showing some more kids taking the test.
If you want to have fun with your 4 year old, try this one out, put a marshmallow in front of them, tell them the scenario, and then leave for 15 minutes. Make sure to have a video camera getting the reaction. (If they eat the marshmallow, don't fret, they aren't doomed to failure, they may just need to be taught a few key things about self-control and discipline.)
So this post is some food for thought about what can lead to certain indicators of success for your children later on in life.
What are your thoughts on this study and it's findings?? Please leave comments below.
This compelling experiment had four year old kids sit in a room with one marshmallow and they were told that if they waited for the teacher/administrator to return then they would get TWO marshmallows. Pretty sweet deal, huh? Well, despite the prospect of having two marshmallows, it was found that only approx. one out of three would not eat the marshmallow, while two out of three wouldn't wait and gobble it right up.
The most interesting stuff became apparent when these kids were re-examined 14 years later. The kids who didn't eat the marshmallow were found as being happier, had higher grades and SAT test scores, had better co-operative relationships, and were more confident on the whole. On the other hand, the children who didn't wait to eat the marshmallow were found to be more moody, indecisive, and envious.
Some psychologists believe that it was the ability to delay gratification that was the most important factor. Dr. Philip Zimbardo went on to describe the difference between 'present' and 'future' oriented people and has repeated this study with similar findings. With people who are more in the 'present' being people who are more interested in the present moment while 'future' oriented people tend to be more "successful." He's even written books on how you can learn the principles of becoming more future oriented; irregardless of being a child or adult.
Other psychologists think that it's the ability to have self-control and self-discipline that's the main factor in the results. Psychologist Joachim de Posada also replicated this experiment in Columbia and the following video is his explanation of the findings. **Warning** If you have a soft spot for cute and funny things then you will enjoy the reactions of the kids in the following two videos.
Here is another video showing some more kids taking the test.
If you want to have fun with your 4 year old, try this one out, put a marshmallow in front of them, tell them the scenario, and then leave for 15 minutes. Make sure to have a video camera getting the reaction. (If they eat the marshmallow, don't fret, they aren't doomed to failure, they may just need to be taught a few key things about self-control and discipline.)
So this post is some food for thought about what can lead to certain indicators of success for your children later on in life.
What are your thoughts on this study and it's findings?? Please leave comments below.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Benefits of Pond Hockey
So I got to lace my skates up with frozen hands last week as I had my first pond hockey game of the year. My hands rang with the familiar pain of trying to get my laces tight enough, as I watched the seven kids, ranging from High School down to squirts, who were out on the pond with me ready to play pond hockey. Stepping onto the ice I took a few strides and my foot found a hole where someone had drilled down through with an ice auger. A divot about two inches deep and 10 inches wide made me realize quickly, "oh man, I'm not in a rink anymore I better be aware of what I'm stepping on." Pieces of the surrounding cat tails blew across the ice every so often, patches of ice that had a thin layer that you could break through were spread out around the pond, cracks in the ice made the field of play feel like a hazard zone compared to the nice smoothed out ice I had started to get used to teaching at the local rink. Not having anything on for equipment except my gloves and helmet was a reminder to myself that I need to stay balanced and be aware of what I'm doing. Despite these treacheries I had an absolute blast.
There was no blowing of a whistle to start the game, only a throwing of the sticks from one side or the other to break up teams. Not having the game count for anything I was able to be more creative with the puck and with how I defended. I used my feet to purposefully block passes, pretending that I wasn't paying attention to where the next pass was going only to snap my stick in the passing lane at the last second, I worked on how to be deceptive with my stick-handling and I was able to try these techniques with no major consequence if they didn't work. Freedom is the closest word I could use to describe that feeling.
Beyond the feelings of freedom that I was having, the feeling of relaxation began to sink in. Being able to be on-ice and not have a guy breathing down my neck trying to do everything in his nature to take the puck away gave me a greater control with the puck. I could pull moves off consistently that in a pressured state would have made me lose my control. Having learned sport psychology I'm now realizing first hand what it's like to be able to feel my ideal performance level "my zone". There was very little to no anxiety, I was able to really relax with the puck and Man, does that feel great.
As we continued to play, the sun started to go down and slowly the colors of sky transformed against the backdrop of the trees. I couldn't help but take out my phone and try to play with one hand as I took some snapshots of the scene. As I was posting them on facebook I proceeded to score a goal one-handed and couldn't help but smile and laugh.
Here's the pic I snapped on the pond.
Shouts of my teammates yelling for passes and learning how to get open as I was doing my dangles were of regular occurrence. Getting their head up looking for passes to me and each other was a must. Sometimes a little excessively I was hearing my name called....ahem..but I'd rather hear someone yelling for a pass so I know where they are than someone staying quiet and as the game went on they calls for passes were at better times.
After about an hour and a half, some of the parents were coming back to check in to make sure we weren't freezing. Funny thing was that most of us were plenty warm if not sweating. No doubt, we burned some calories in the process and I'd personally rather be on a pond then on a treadmill any day.
To recap, here are some of the things I think are benefits of pond hockey:
-Tough Ice conditions make sure that you need good balance and awareness of the ice.
-Without equipment you need to play a different, much more skill oriented game.
-Without excessive pressure, relaxation and creativity can arise.
-You can learn things about the game you might not have realized otherwise.
-No expectations
-The beautiful surroundings
-A place for good teamwork and communication building.
-Can make new friends and deepen your current relationships.
-Can be a good workout.
-It can be straight up fun.
Over the last year I've fallen back in love with the game of hockey. My passion has grown again and I find myself watching the top players looking for nuances in their balance and positioning. Teaching stick-handling has forced me to study the art of puck handling much more in-depth then when I was a kid playing. Figuring out the small nuances, making the connections and learning how to feel the puck again has been exciting. My stick-handling is better than it's ever been and I feel more in control than I have ever felt before. If you're interested in finding more control with the puck join me on Wednesdays at Maine Sport, 5pm for Mites and Squirts or 530 for Peewee through Adults. From 3-5PM there will be Pond Hockey on the Maine Sport pond if the conditions allow and it's a great place to practice new moves. You can also join our Facebook group, just type in "Midcoast Pond Hockey" and ask to join. You'll get updates on times and places other people are playing.
On a final note, we're going to have a movie night that plays an ode to Pond Hockey. Below is a trailer for the movie "Pond Hockey" and we'll be having a showing of this movie on Wednesday January 19th at 6:30PM at the MRC. Hope you can attend and I hope you fall in love with Pond Hockey too as much as I have.
“Up to a certain age, kids should be let out
to play pond hockey. Skate and be creative
with the puck.” - Wayne Gretzky
Tell me some of your favorite pond hockey memories or any comments you have about pond hockey in the comments section!!!
There was no blowing of a whistle to start the game, only a throwing of the sticks from one side or the other to break up teams. Not having the game count for anything I was able to be more creative with the puck and with how I defended. I used my feet to purposefully block passes, pretending that I wasn't paying attention to where the next pass was going only to snap my stick in the passing lane at the last second, I worked on how to be deceptive with my stick-handling and I was able to try these techniques with no major consequence if they didn't work. Freedom is the closest word I could use to describe that feeling.
Beyond the feelings of freedom that I was having, the feeling of relaxation began to sink in. Being able to be on-ice and not have a guy breathing down my neck trying to do everything in his nature to take the puck away gave me a greater control with the puck. I could pull moves off consistently that in a pressured state would have made me lose my control. Having learned sport psychology I'm now realizing first hand what it's like to be able to feel my ideal performance level "my zone". There was very little to no anxiety, I was able to really relax with the puck and Man, does that feel great.
As we continued to play, the sun started to go down and slowly the colors of sky transformed against the backdrop of the trees. I couldn't help but take out my phone and try to play with one hand as I took some snapshots of the scene. As I was posting them on facebook I proceeded to score a goal one-handed and couldn't help but smile and laugh.
Shouts of my teammates yelling for passes and learning how to get open as I was doing my dangles were of regular occurrence. Getting their head up looking for passes to me and each other was a must. Sometimes a little excessively I was hearing my name called....ahem..but I'd rather hear someone yelling for a pass so I know where they are than someone staying quiet and as the game went on they calls for passes were at better times.
After about an hour and a half, some of the parents were coming back to check in to make sure we weren't freezing. Funny thing was that most of us were plenty warm if not sweating. No doubt, we burned some calories in the process and I'd personally rather be on a pond then on a treadmill any day.
To recap, here are some of the things I think are benefits of pond hockey:
-Tough Ice conditions make sure that you need good balance and awareness of the ice.
-Without equipment you need to play a different, much more skill oriented game.
-Without excessive pressure, relaxation and creativity can arise.
-You can learn things about the game you might not have realized otherwise.
-No expectations
-The beautiful surroundings
-A place for good teamwork and communication building.
-Can make new friends and deepen your current relationships.
-Can be a good workout.
-It can be straight up fun.
Over the last year I've fallen back in love with the game of hockey. My passion has grown again and I find myself watching the top players looking for nuances in their balance and positioning. Teaching stick-handling has forced me to study the art of puck handling much more in-depth then when I was a kid playing. Figuring out the small nuances, making the connections and learning how to feel the puck again has been exciting. My stick-handling is better than it's ever been and I feel more in control than I have ever felt before. If you're interested in finding more control with the puck join me on Wednesdays at Maine Sport, 5pm for Mites and Squirts or 530 for Peewee through Adults. From 3-5PM there will be Pond Hockey on the Maine Sport pond if the conditions allow and it's a great place to practice new moves. You can also join our Facebook group, just type in "Midcoast Pond Hockey" and ask to join. You'll get updates on times and places other people are playing.
On a final note, we're going to have a movie night that plays an ode to Pond Hockey. Below is a trailer for the movie "Pond Hockey" and we'll be having a showing of this movie on Wednesday January 19th at 6:30PM at the MRC. Hope you can attend and I hope you fall in love with Pond Hockey too as much as I have.
“Up to a certain age, kids should be let out
to play pond hockey. Skate and be creative
with the puck.” - Wayne Gretzky
Tell me some of your favorite pond hockey memories or any comments you have about pond hockey in the comments section!!!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Barry Schwartz: Using our practical wisdom
Most everyday during my lunch break I watch a Ted Talk video. Being able to hear great inspiration on a daily basis fills me up and inspires me into greater action. The videos that really inspire me I'll start to post and would love to have discussions with you about them.
The video I posted today really inspires me to get even more involved in my local hockey community. Every day I see the support of people who want the best for their kids. As relationships build with the parents and kids, I'm starting to see where a structure of practical wisdom could be used and helpful. I watch the younger kids look up to the older kids with stars in their eyes and excitement of future potential. Being able to incorporate the idea of mentoring and building of relationships is something I want to incorporate as we grow as a hockey community. Building a system where the older students are being able to mentor the younger students could be a great thing and something worth thinking and developing further.
To explore one of Barry Schwartz points more in depth, I want to look at one of his points he makes at the end.
"What makes people happy? (according to the latest psychological studies).....Love and Work.
Love - managing, successfully, the relations with the people that are close to you and the communities of which you are a part.
and
Work - engaging in activities that are meaningful and satisfying (fulfilling)" -Barry Schwartz
What are your thoughts on this statement? Does this ring true for you? Feel free to share some of your ideas and thoughts from this video and how it relates to your life I'd love to hear them.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Hockey Program Updates
Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season! Santa was nice to me and got me a new visor and stick! Just wanted to give some updates as to pond hockey and other events that are happening.
If you're in the Midcoast Maine area, Midcoast Pond Hockey has it's own Facebook Group!!! This group will be used to post times, ponds, and people to play. It will be used as a medium to gather people together who are interested in playing the game of hockey in its most natural condition. Please be safe out there and make sure that you use the proper equipment suited to your ability. Follow this link to join the group! http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_143608449025834
Off-Ice Stick-handling clinics Every Wednesday at Maine Sport Sessions are $10 and 4 days of participation will get you a free Smart Hockey stick-handling ball!! These are 30 minute sessions that are divided into the following groups:
Mites and Squirts : 5pm
Peewee-Adult : 5:30pm
Private and Group Lessons are available for everything from Skating and Stick-Handling to Goal Setting and Leadership. If interested call or email me at 207-991-0244 or Jesse@envisionbalance.com
Anyone interested in Light-Weight High-Performance Socks can also get in contact with Jesse.
If you have a request for a topic that you'd like to see covered more in depth on the Envision Balance Blog just let me know! Post your ideas in the comments section below.
If you haven't had a chance to check out the new HBO series 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic, it's worth a look! A great dive into the behind the scenes of the NHL and some of the greatest players. http://www.hbo.com/sports/24-7-penguins-capitals-road-to-the-nhl-winter-classic/index.html Not sure how long this link will work but you can find the episodes on Youtube as well but in a lower quality format.
Finally, Andrew's Hockey has released their dates for the 2011 summer season and they are accepting registrations. You can check them out on www.hockeygrowth.com and Hope to see you up in beautiful Prince Edward Island this summer!
All the Best,
-Jesse
If you're in the Midcoast Maine area, Midcoast Pond Hockey has it's own Facebook Group!!! This group will be used to post times, ponds, and people to play. It will be used as a medium to gather people together who are interested in playing the game of hockey in its most natural condition. Please be safe out there and make sure that you use the proper equipment suited to your ability. Follow this link to join the group! http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_143608449025834
Off-Ice Stick-handling clinics Every Wednesday at Maine Sport Sessions are $10 and 4 days of participation will get you a free Smart Hockey stick-handling ball!! These are 30 minute sessions that are divided into the following groups:
Mites and Squirts : 5pm
Peewee-Adult : 5:30pm
Private and Group Lessons are available for everything from Skating and Stick-Handling to Goal Setting and Leadership. If interested call or email me at 207-991-0244 or Jesse@envisionbalance.com
Anyone interested in Light-Weight High-Performance Socks can also get in contact with Jesse.
If you have a request for a topic that you'd like to see covered more in depth on the Envision Balance Blog just let me know! Post your ideas in the comments section below.
If you haven't had a chance to check out the new HBO series 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic, it's worth a look! A great dive into the behind the scenes of the NHL and some of the greatest players. http://www.hbo.com/sports/24-7-penguins-capitals-road-to-the-nhl-winter-classic/index.html Not sure how long this link will work but you can find the episodes on Youtube as well but in a lower quality format.
Finally, Andrew's Hockey has released their dates for the 2011 summer season and they are accepting registrations. You can check them out on www.hockeygrowth.com and Hope to see you up in beautiful Prince Edward Island this summer!
All the Best,
-Jesse
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
How to Build Self-Confidence
Hello everyone,
As a follow up to my last post on dealing with failure. This article takes the progression a step further. Once you've dealt with failure or if you haven't reached your peak performance level of confidence and want to feel better about yourself and your skills. The following article, also from wikihow is a great place to start thinking about how you can gain or bolster self-confidence. Below, I've put some questions and food for thought in some of the upcoming posts.
You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.
Back to Envision Balance
In doing my research on the connections between task specific confidence and self-esteem in hockey, there was a correlation between how children felt about themselves and what they rated themselves in confidence. Look forward to future posts where we'll be exploring the connection between self-esteem and it's effects in sport.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT : What are some things that have boosted self-confidence for you personally? At what point do you think self-confidence can be a bad thing? Do you think self-confidence can be a bad thing?
As a follow up to my last post on dealing with failure. This article takes the progression a step further. Once you've dealt with failure or if you haven't reached your peak performance level of confidence and want to feel better about yourself and your skills. The following article, also from wikihow is a great place to start thinking about how you can gain or bolster self-confidence. Below, I've put some questions and food for thought in some of the upcoming posts.
How to Build Self Confidence
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can EditYou want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.
Steps
- Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.
- Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on. And that doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to accept yourself, your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as "bad".
- Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
- Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
- Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
- Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
- Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).
- Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
- Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!
- Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
- Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Just recognizing who or what you're like inside will help you become that on the outside. Exercise helps you build strength and confidence, increases libido, and has many other positive effects.
- Always keep a smile on your face, that will build a lot of self-confidence
- Share your knowledge & your experience with others
Video
Tips
- Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
- When you are feeling terribly insecure, write down your positive traits and read them back. This feedback would give you surprising results.
- Do not be afraid to push yourself beyond your physical or mental limits. Such a pressure would help you see how easily things can be achieved and thereby helps you hone skills. Step out of your comfort zone.
- Condition yourself to talk positively about yourself. Every time your mind wanders and say you are not apt at it, pause for a minute, undo those negative vibes and say you can do it. At least you should make an attempt to accomplish that daunting task. With that, you will learn more about yourself.
- Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.
- You can provide yourself with an extra dose of confidence by using the Best Me Technique of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal, thereby reducing the stress.
- Have a good group of friends that will support you in any decision making
- Look forward to what lies ahead in the day or the future: try not to express any bad feelings in any way.
- Most people lack self confidence because they worry how others view them. The first thing you have to do is be happy with yourself and your abilities. Focus less on how others see you because you only get back what you dish out. If they see you're self assured your self confidence will rub off on them.
- If you are religious in any way, pray about your insecurities. Pray that you will overcome these feelings and that you will be thankful for what you have.
- Write a list of the good things about you and the bad things. You should end up with loads of good things and only a few bad things. This will give a huge boost to your self-confidence
- Be contented.
Warnings
- Do not get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points. They could turn out to be a healthy juxtapose to your good points or even give you something to improve. There is no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
- Do not mistake being loud for confidence. Some loud people cover their insecurities. If you are happy with yourself, you are confident.
- Don't rush yourself; take your time and seek the pace that is most comfortable for you.
Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Build Self Confidence. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.
Back to Envision Balance
In doing my research on the connections between task specific confidence and self-esteem in hockey, there was a correlation between how children felt about themselves and what they rated themselves in confidence. Look forward to future posts where we'll be exploring the connection between self-esteem and it's effects in sport.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT : What are some things that have boosted self-confidence for you personally? At what point do you think self-confidence can be a bad thing? Do you think self-confidence can be a bad thing?
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